5 Golden Rules of Setting Goals

Do you set goals, or do you just fumble through life and hope that success will come looking for you? Setting SMART goals allows you to concentrate on your efforts, make better use of your time and money, and improve your chances of achieving your objectives. To ensure that your objectives are straightforward and attainable, each one should be:

Specific

You won’t be able to concentrate your attention or feel genuinely inspired to achieve your goal unless it is straightforward and precise. Try to answer the following five “W” questions as you write your goal:

What exactly am I aiming for?

What is the significance of this goal?

Who’s on the hook?

What is its location? 

What resources or constraints are present

Measurable

Measurable goals help you keep track of your success and remain motivated. This makes you stay focused, meet deadlines, and enjoy the thrill of moving closer to your target. A measurable target should answer questions like:

How much? And how long?

How many are there in total?

How would I know when it’s done?

Achievable

To be successful, your target must also be practical and attainable. To put it another way, it should be able push your skill while still being achievable. An attainable target will typically provide answers to questions like:

How can I achieve this goal?

How feasible is the goal based on limitations like financial constrains?

Relevant

Ensure that your goal is important to you and that it is aligned with other important goals in your life. A relevant goal should agree with the following questions:

Is this something I am interested in?

Is it the appropriate time?

Is this in line with my other goals and requirements?

Am I the best person for the goal?

Is it important in today’s socio-economic situation?

Time Bound

A target date is needed for any goal so that you have a deadline to work against. Having a deadline prevents your daily activities from taking precedence over your long-term objectives.

These questions should be answered by a time-bound goal:

When is it going to happen?

What will I be able to do in a year?

What will I be able to do in five months?

What am I able to do today?

Overall, SMART is a useful tool that helps you accomplish your objectives by providing clarification, concentration, and encouragement. It also helps you achieve them by motivating you to set goals and deadlines. Some people argue that SMART is ineffective for long-term objectives due to its lack of versatility, while others argue that it stifles innovation. Try using SMART to set your goals and you might realize that the real reason you have not met your objectives is that your plans were too fuzzy or impractical. Consider changing your vision and recast it as a SMART plan so that you can achieve your goal.

Lastly, remember to have an accountability partner to help you maintain the momentum. Make sure to pick a supportive person.

Have you set your goals for the year yet? It is not too late, set SMART goals and conquer each of them.

Written By: Shalom Musyoka, Cohort 8.

An Ultimate Guide to Making the Right Choices in Romantic Relationships

Majority of our young men and women are perishing for lack of knowledge in the name of love. Whoever said love is blind was right. It makes one do stupid things to please their romantic partners. What we fail to understand is that some of these things that we do blindly can have lifetime effects on our lives and those close to us. Please note that a healthy relationship comprises of two people who want to be in one. So, as you get all lovey-dovey today remember that it may not always translate to the phrasal ‘happy ending’. Sometimes an unexpected plot twist may happen, ending your relationship in premium tears. As you follow your heart take your brain with you. 

Below are some pointers on what love is and what it is not.

  • Love is not Great Sex

Do you love them because they are good in bed? If yes, then you are sick and lost. Sex and love cannot be on the same table. Sex won’t make them stay but love will. Do not break your back for someone who is there to enjoy the moment. Remember they may get all acrobatic in bed and still not love you. Love is beyond physical gratification. It is connecting deeply with someone such that when you look into their eyes you see their soul.

  • Love should not Hurt

Love is a beautiful thing, and it does not hurt. It is the person you are in love with that hurts. Betrayal, abuse, loneliness, and rejection hurts but love erases that pain and makes one feel wonderful again. True love makes you happy in a way you have never experienced before so if it hurts it’s absolutely not true love. Do not get it twisted.

  • Love is not Obsessive 

There is a very thin line between love and obsession. To love is to want your partner to be happy and wish them the best even when you are not in their lives. On the other hand, obsession is an unhealthy longing to be with someone 24/7 or talk to them all the time. Obsessive love can lead to insecurities in a romantic relationship and cause unnecessary drama and pressure. Note the difference and make a wise choice. 

  • Love is not Uncertain 

Ambivalence in a relationship can be nerve-racking and lead to a rollercoaster of emotions. Your partner should be clear about where the relationship is headed to avoid unnecessary stress. It is either you are dating for marriage or a breakup. There is no dating for fun. Do not stomach the “let’s see where this is going” phrase. Stop asking them “what are we?” Raise the bar and vamoose from their lives for good because you deserve better. 

  • Love is not saying yes at the Expense of your Own Happiness 

Stop saying yes to everything to please people. You know what, your parents did not raise you to be miserable so that others can be happy. Learn to ask what is there for you, as well as saying no without feeling guilty. Take charge of your joy, your happiness, and your worth and protect it at all costs. If your partner can’t handle that kick them out. 

  • Love is Supportive 

If you look for nothing else in a partner, make sure you have a supportive one. It is important to have a partner who can be there during tough phases in life. Having a reliable support system gives a sense of security and pride. Support may be emotional and also financial when need be. It feels nice to have someone you can turn to during a crisis and receive immense support from them. 

  • Love is Work

Anything worth having demands effort and intentionality and true love is not an exemption. Love takes work to resolve disagreements. It takes intentionality to communicate and understand one another. Love requires nurturing and care for it to thrive. You deserve effort, you deserve consistency, and you deserve everything good that true love has in store. Anything short of that is not worth your energy.

When all is said and done, you are the only one who can decide if you are happy or not. Until you believe you deserve better you will always attract the same version of what you disposed. Take care of your heart and value yourself. At the end of the day, all that matters is how content you are with your story.

Happy Valentines 🙂

By: Shalom Musyoka, ELF Alumni, Cohort 8.

DARE TO DREAM

January 18th, 2021 marks the annual celebration of Martin Luther King Jr (MLK), a day which is normally commemorated on the third Monday of January each year. The civil rights leader is fondly remembered for his public speech that was delivered during the march for civil and economic rights and an end to racism in the United States on August 28, 1963. Arguably, this goes down as one of the most iconic speeches.

MLK had a dream, which he stood and fought for, and did anything possible to make sure that it lived to see the day light. Years later, some of the things that he envisioned have come to life, a number are still pending and being fought for to this date. The struggle continues, the hope is high, the dream lives on.

At a time of social and political unrest in Kenya, MLK’s request to ‘make real the promises of democracy’ finds application. To ensure that the nation rises and lives out its true meaning, there needs to be collective effort across board. Young to old, formal to the informal sector, political class to the non- political class. Notably, in the political space, there appears to be lack of ethics, soberness, and values.

Once again, the youth of this nation have been reduced to voting robots, after being cosseted with heavenly promises of how their lives are about to be transformed – by the same people who have been in leadership overtime, recycling political parties – they always end up on the wrong side right after elections; jobless, hopeless, restless and over time harassed by the systems that exist. Worse still, they have continually been blamed for not doing enough, which in most cases, it is due to poor governance and policy structures. Is it about to end? If no, who will salvage the situation?

There is need for more young women and men to rise and become change agents that they long to have. People who care and understand the realities that the ‘common’ mwananchi is facing. People who are ready to lead and transform, based on values and not following their political godfathers. People who are ready to live up to their dreams, rise and drive out darkness that has consistently engulfed the country. People who are ready to stand up for the truth, when it matters most, not afraid of the consequences, just like MLK.

Overtime, we have seen more young people rise to the occasion, taken over mantles from old, tired men and women. Some, however, have sunk in the same mess that has held captivate change and progress.

There is something that I must say to all young people, who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of good governance and leadership: in the process of gaining our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for leadership by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. Let us not lose our values along the way.

This does not only apply to those seeking to be in the political space, it also extensively covers people across all sectors. Our collective efforts go a long way in transforming the nation. It is our call.

In the words of Martin Luther King “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.” Let us be that light.

I have a dream, which I am ready to fight for. So, should you.

Believe and Dare to Dream!

 

This is our decade, Let us fight for our space.

The international youth week is over. But how far do we go into keeping promises made, activating the great phrases and powerful quotes that we came across in the looong speeches that we had in the last week?

The past few months have seen a lot of support by the government to the Kenyan youth in promoting their sustainability. From kazi mtaani, to buying hospital beds from two young innovators in Kiambu county, the government has shown efforts in trying to support young people and their innovations. Commendable, but there is a long way to go on this.

This is the time to have more youth come out and get more engaged.

Anyway, that is not my purpose here.

Today, I celebrate individuals and organizations that are helping nurture young men and women with immense potential and promising to be champions of change from the grassroots to the international levels; everyone spending sleepless nights as they think of strategies and ways in which they can equip more young men and women with knowledge and help them unleash their inner-selves in ensuring that the nation and continent at large is rising from its shadow with more involvement from the youth. The Caren Wakoli’s of this world who have started organizations that are equipping young men and women with knowledge, skills and offered mentorship programs which have in turn pushed a good number out of their comfort zones and are now actively engaging their communities, governments and their peers in ensuring that there is positive progress in the tiniest of spaces. Owing to such organizations, there are more people actively engaging politicians, civil societies, and their communities fearlessly and achieving their plans.

This year’s celebration marked 20 years since the UN designated 12th August as the international youth day. This was also the first celebration of this new decade, a decade that started off promising greatness before the world was paralyzed by a pandemic- which we are now learning to live with. It is the same decade when all United Nations Member states will be seeking to achieve the 17 Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs), which we have a crucial role to play. The next 10 years are demanding of increased youth participation. This is the time to have more youth come out and get more engaged due to existence of organizations such as ELF, which are increasing their capacities to reach out to more young people.

These organizations, however, cannot do this on their own. We all have a role to play. To achieve this, we need to be collectively engaged with a goal(s) in place, get ready to face disappointments and come out stronger, learn, unlearn, and embrace failure as part of growth.

To all organizations working towards capacity building and equipping young people with knowledge, ideas, and skills on how to be more engaged in various sectors, CHEERS, do not relent. To the private sector, there is a great role for you to play; join hands with other practitioners and help young men and women raise hope and belief. To the government, there is much more to be done than making boardroom policies that get rusty and dusty on shelves; there is much more to be done than making promises you won’t live up to; there is more to be done than the few government appointments you make to cover up for the high number of senior citizens who are getting government appointments.

To the young men and women who make the youth cut, there is much more we can do than just waiting for media interviews and twitter rants to shout ‘Serikali saidia’ and hurl insults at anyone. With devolution in place, we can engage local governments in various ways like our Tunaweza fellows are doing in the 8 counties that we  currently exist in. We can come up with ideas, proposals and present to our local leaders, keep knocking on their doors, they will finally open. Let us not wait for the national government without first knocking on the doors of our MCA’s, Governors, and relevant local offices.

This year’s theme seeks more youth engagement from the local space to the international space for global actions, let us live up to it. Let us fight for our space, grab opportunities that come along and get more involved.

 

Slay the Giant

The last few weeks have seen an uprising in the world against racism and police brutality. The cause; George Floyd’s death in the USA. The revolt has been televised and re-shared all over the world in unison. Back home, Kenyans held demos protesting George Floyd’s death at the USA embassy and a localized version was witnessed outside parliament buildings.

Why did we have to wait this late to hold demos against police brutality in Kenya? It has been constantly ongoing in, followed by zero actions from citizens ­- apart from a few tweets and rants by netizens – there haven’t been much going on.

This is not about police brutality; much has been said and it seems to be getting home. The Inspector general recently started weekly tweet chats ‘#ENGAGETHEIG’ and I hope that this will be a move that will leave notable changes in the sector.

Everyone has a role to play, it is no longer a universal thing, lets handle it personally; we shall win the fight.

Are we mentally enslaved even when it comes to acting on what ails us? What is holding back from fighting the biggest plague that ails us, tribalism, not by words but by taking meaningful action. When will we face this giant boldly and hold it by its horns? When are we going to stop voting for our tribal lords? For how long will I get the question, ‘Jina Kamoche ni ya kutoka maeneo gani’?

For how long will we get efficient services based on our second names? Tribalism stands out as the biggest form of discrimination in the country and we are all advocates of the same in various ways. It is sad that close to 60 years since Kenya gained it’s independence, we are still battling the same ills that were experienced when the nation was an infant. How many more years to go before we wake up from our slumber?  How far or how close are we?

The people we have always expected to be of help in controlling tribalism have been the biggest advocates of the same, directly, or indirectly. Our politicians, clergy, teachers and worse still, our parents – parents have restrained their sons and daughters from intermarrying, refused to attend weddings or even bless their marriages simply because they are marrying from tribes they consider their cultural ‘foes’.

Tribalism is a plague. I see tribalism – which is largely Political Tribalism – as a form of stunted psychological and sociological growth. Politicians are always blamed – rightfully – for inflaming tribal passions. But the tribal logic resonates with most of the youthful population, who are the majority in Kenya. We have always had a pandemic ailing us, not an ‘import’ like the now famed Covid-19, No. It is a pandemic that exists within our local boundaries, spread around by our own friends, families, heroes, and ourselves.

As we fight police brutality and racism on twitter, let us not forget to fight a giant that lives amongst us and always bites back during electioneering periods. We need to fight it with the same energy being put in fighting the pandemic, the same vigor being put into ensuring that BBI proposals are adopted. Tribalism is a vice that has stood between us and great opportunities, good governance, peace, and unity in the nation.

Everyone has a role to play, it is no longer a universal thing, lets handle it personally; we shall win the fight. We need to do much more than cross our fingers and hope for a swarm of political candidates with the supernatural formula of personal charisma and appeal. We need to kill off fear that has blurred our logic and stopped our change of behavior.

To beat it, we have got to weed our souls.

How Emerging Leaders Foundation is Fighting the Pandemic

I do not know how you have been coping with Covid-19, but here at ELF, it has been a roller-coaster of thoughts, emotions, and events. We have moved from hoping that this is just a passing cloud, to realising that the virus is here to stay. We have shifted from believing that we can postpone all our programs to “post-COVID” to realising that NOW is the only time we have.

I must say, it has not been easy. You see, speaking about adapting to change and the benefits therein is one thing, but it is totally different when you must change and adapt so quickly. In all this, I dare say, this virus has brought out the best in us, we now know the importance of ACT NOW, and across the world, we have seen how movements have been built and continue to be sustained amidst the pandemic, humanity realises that we cannot suspend democracy, justice, and equality even though the rain falls!

Our joy is that young people have continued to defy the odds, they have led their communities from the front, as essential workers in hospitals and factories, and as community health workers. At ELF, we see our young people continue with the work of keeping their local governments accountable, participating in policy processes, through creative ways enabled by technology.

I have particularly been pleased by Susan Wairimu (@Suzy Wa Wairimu on Facebook), a single mother who dedicates her time to providing sanitary pads to poor and vulnerable girls in her community in Ngong, who would otherwise not afford the pads. She harnesses the power of her social network through social media to crowdfund for the sanitary pads and personally delivers them door to door. I highlight this story because it embodies what we stand for as an organization, that our communities are our responsibility, and that each of us can and should play an active role in making it SUSTAINABLE, despite the odds being against us. Suzy is not alone, to all the young people, making sacrifices to see members of their society live DIGNIFIED lives, we salute and celebrate you.

All our programs are now taking place online, thanks to our dedicated team of staff who have put in extra hours and have stepped up when called upon, to me, they are my heroes. To Caren, Ahmed, Cheboi, Irene, Kipkalya, Marvin, Andrew, and Kim, thank you for your resilience.

We are also grateful to our partners and funders who continue to believe in us and walk with us. We believe that our best weapon against this pandemic and the next is values-based leaders, who will put service to the people above self-interest, who will prioritize investing in structures and systems and not tokenism. Leaders who will value the next generation over the next election.

To realize the above, we will continue to discover leaders and train them, we will connect them with mentors and send them back to their communities to cause revolutionary impact. Our communities are getting better, one Emerged leader at a time.

 

Submitted by:

Jim IndiaELF Communications Officer

5 Tips You Need for Successful Personal Development

Sometimes, I wonder why some of us go through life without a plan. Would you have a tailor do your outfit without a plan? Or a contractor build your house without a plan and figuring it out as they go on? I bet you wouldn’t. Why then do you then fumble in life without stopping to think on where you’re headed? You need to plan on where you want to be clearly and make deliberate decisions on the direction you want to follow. The journey to personal development begins with self-awareness. Self-awareness is the ability to understand one’s thoughts, behaviors, motivations, weaknesses and reactions and everything else that makes us unique. You must actively seek to understand your strengths, weaknesses, emotions, motivations and your reactions to various situations. According to Maslow (1970), people have an inbuilt need for personal development which occurs through self-actualization.

For you to be successful you have to study what successful people do and apply it.

Life is competitive and unless we become tougher, we won’t be able to achieve anything.

  1. Set Goals

Personal development is interesting. Having a clear plan of where you want to be in future is part of personal development. It is easier to improve when you have a purpose of doing so.  Write down your goals in order of their importance and constantly review them.

  1. Assess Your Skills

You now have a clear vision of where you want to go but do you have the necessary means to take you there? First, you need to assess your skills to see whether they are in line with your dream. Constantly work on the skills you have to master the unique ones. Then list all the skills you should improve in order to realize your goals. Do whatever it takes to acquire the skills you are lacking.

  1. Discipline

After you have assessed your skills and acquired new ones, it’s now time to hit the road to your destination. Discipline is the ability of getting started regardless of your emotional state. Self-discipline is nothing but empowering your will and training the brain. After drawing your goals and acquiring the necessary skills, set a target and concentrate on it. It’s all about getting out of your comfort zone.

  1. Hard Work

Success doesn’t come on a silver platter, you must work hard. Personal development takes time and hard work. Understand how much work you need to put in in order to fully function. Employ a fixed schedule that you will commit to. Commitment has a positive effect on self-development.

  1. Be Unique

Often in life, we meet people who leave a very deep impression on us and make us admire everything about them. While it is in order to draw inspirations, avoid comparing yourself with them. Ask yourself who you need to be to become in order to be successful. Do what is in line with your vision and avoid the unnecessary pressure that comes from comparing yourself with others.

 

In a nutshell, personal development is a life time investment that seeks to improve your productivity and quality. When you put time and effort in developing yourself, the results are amazing. Personal development helps you manage yourself regardless of the situation you are in. Pick those tips and build on them. Life is competitive and unless we become tougher, we won’t be able to achieve anything.

 

Submitted By:

Shalom Musyoka, Cohort 8.

Susan Wavinya: Bringing Back Hope in her society

Being a mother at 17 was the turning point for Susan Wavinya Wairimu. She didn’t let her dreams and visions to be daunted. Susan, who is currently her cohort’s president decided to try a hand at ELF to see feed her curiosity on everything that goes on in the organization and understand herself in a better way.

“I remember applying for ELF in 2017, half-way though I gave up but found myself applying for the same 2 years later. My passion for leadership, mentorship and governance just couldn’t let me surrender on this chance.”

Susan decided to forward her name as a presidential candidate for her cohort, where she was the only lady contesting. “I didn’t think of myself winning, let me be honest. During the elections I was very impatient and pessimistic. Some of my fellows were raising my hopes of winning; I had to keep calm and wait for the moment.” The elections provided valuable lessons to Susan but one of the greatest lessons was strategy; coming up with good strategies is important not only when seeking votes but in life.

No one is answerable for your failure, if you have faith and purpose then God will surely see you through in what you desire to achieve.

Currently, Susan is a Human Resource Management student at Ngong Technical and vocational College and serves as the charter president of the student’s council at the same institution. Besides this, she formed an organization – House of Hope- that mentors, motivates and advocates for the rights of young mothers in Ngong Mathare slum, where she grew up. In November last year, Susan had her first mentorship session for young mothers in the area and she was able to reach 77 young mothers in the area, did a menstrual talk and distributed sanitary towels. She looks forward to hosting another session this month to celebrate women and gift them with clothing to appreciate their beauty and the efforts they put to raise their kids and sustain themselves.

“I believe that no woman should be discriminated or criticized for making the choice of being a mum at a tender age, what we have to do is give them a shoulder to lean on and allow them pursue their dreams. I am looking forward to having several activities that will help young women earn a living and get into leadership and have soft skills,” Susan

Further, she also leads in the mentorship of young girls who are in school.

“The training that I got at ELF and the sessions that we had also boosted my knowledge and helped improve how I carried out my duties.”

Despite all challenges encountered along the way, she desires to be an ambassador for the youths and young women at the UN or any other organization that will believe her dreams and welcome her to be part.

Susan is not ready to give up on her dreams, she believes that one must fight through all challenges that come along. “Many are the times when we give up on our dreams by complaining about lack of resources but my encouragement is keep pushing for it, if I am able to achieve and impact lives despite all that I go through, then pursue your purpose passionately and the resource and rewards will follow.”

“No one is answerable for your failure, if you have faith and purpose then God will surely see you through in what you desire to achieve.”

We celebrate Susan and her efforts in creating impact in her society.

Another chance at life, Thank You ELF

As I type this, I can gladly say that ELF saved my life. But how? You must be wondering. Well, let me tell you my story. Exactly one year ago, I had hit rock bottom. My hope was completely at zero and as each second passed, more and more suicidal thoughts crossed my mind. I had just lost a child through ectopic pregnancy and I was in a very dark space. It was even worse because my parents forbade me to talk about it.

Being an extrovert, I thought my parents would notice that something was wrong with me as I had become completely withdrawn which was unlike me. I was drowning in pain and everybody was moving on with their lives like nothing happened. I opted to slitting my wrist as a way of channeling the pain that was inside. One evening, the pain was overwhelming, and I couldn’t slit my wrist anymore because I already had too many bruises. For me, suicide was the only way out but to be honest, actualizing the thought is not as easy as it seems.

If anything, I felt relieved; I felt at home. I felt loved and I knew that ELF was now my second family. Here, I made friends for life and I knew that this was my second chance in life.

I lay on my bed with tear-filled eyes scrolling my phone with no agenda. My dad sent me a link to a YouTube video, and I thought to myself, “Let me watch this video first then I can think of a good way to commit suicide.”  As I think about it now, I can’t help but laugh. My dad knew how much I liked public speaking and he had sent me Caren Wakoli’s speech at St. Andrews Turi. As I watched the video, I couldn’t help but admire how well Caren articulated her speech and I got curious about this smart lady. Remember, at the back of my mind I wanted to complete watching this video and still think of a smooth way to end my existence. God works in miraculous ways.

After the speech, I decided to google and know more about Caren and that’s when I bumped into ELF. Little did I know that my focus was slowly changing from suicidal thoughts to curiosity about ELF and what it does. Amazingly, recruitment for cohort 8 was ongoing and I made my registration. At this point suicide was out mind since I had turned my focus to be part of ELF. Nonetheless, I still used to slit my wrist from time to time, as a way of coping. During the cohort 8 open day, is when I knew that I had really found a place to call home. Stella Cheboi was the first person I met and if you know and have interacted with her, you must agree that she gives the warmest welcomes. You know those deep welcomes that are hard to ignore, those that you’d think someone has known you for a while. I heard Jim India and Stella Nderitu speak and I couldn’t help but admire how well they picked their diction and articulation of words. It was impressive and at that moment, I concluded that I am in the right place.

As Sofina took us through the first session of life mapping and storytelling, I knew that I was in a safe space and that was the first time I shared my story with complete strangers and didn’t feel judged. If anything, I felt relieved; I felt at home. I felt loved and I knew that ELF was now my second family. Here, I made friends for life and I knew that this was my second chance in life.

Thank you, ELF. Keep impacting and changing lives because you never know how many more lives you will save.

Joyce Selim, 

ELF cohort 8 Fellow.  

The Importance of Self-Love

To all my single friends, your WhatsApp statuses and Facebook are probably stocked with your friends ‘baes’ and various gifts that they have been showered with. Don’t let lack of a significant partner make you dread this day. So today, I want to talk about self-love. Self-love is the most important form of relationship in your life. It is genuinely accepting yourself which in return creates a strong bond in your other relationships. It is about looking after your body, mind and spirit. You’ve probably heard of “love your neighbor as you love yourself”. So, treat yourself today. Get yourself a bouquet of roses and chocolates. There’s nothing wrong with being single as you wait for what you truly deserve. Being in a relationship is not a measure of worth neither is it an achievement. You deserve to give yourself all the love so don’t be afraid to spoil yourself and shower yourself with compliments.

Self-love is about:

Accepting yourself

Self-love is the willingness to accept who you are; both the good and the bad side. It is giving yourself as much as you are willing to give to others. It provides you with inner peace and happiness that can be affected by the opinion of others. It helps you make healthier choices and decisions across all relationships in your life. Self-love lets you celebrate others and appreciate their achievements rather than being jealous.

Self-love lets you celebrate others and appreciate their achievements rather than being jealous.

Knowing your value and adhere to it

Knowing your value and self-worth means you don’t see it as a privilege when you interact with people of higher status than you are. We self-sabotage ourselves in relationships and work places because we don’t ask for what we deserve. We feel that we are lucky to work at a certain organization or have some people in our lives.  Demand to be recognized be it in work places or in romantic relationships.

Teaching others how to treat you

If you find yourself unhappy on how people are treating you, it’s time to have a meeting with yourself and do a self-check. I have learnt that we attract who and what we are. People treat us the way we let them. If people insult you, take you for granted, use you or even abuse you it’s because you let them do it. You comfortably let it slide without confronting them about their actions. Maybe because you thought they were too important and you’d lose them if you questioned their behavior. Truth is, no one is more important than yourself. Let them treat you they way you deserve otherwise show them the door.

No one in the entire universe deserves your love more than you do. Self-love is the perquisite of all form of love in your life. You can never experience true love without genuinely loving yourself first. Let go of anything that makes you believe that self-love is selfish and egocentric. Loving yourself is a win-win. It is accompanied by unmeasurable happiness and joy that no else can offer you but God. So, if nobody treated you this valentines don’t wallow in self-pity. Wake up and treat yourself to a nice meal, a movie or even do a note to self.

There’s nothing wrong with being single as you wait for what you truly deserve. Being in a relationship is not a measure of worth neither is it an achievement. You deserve to give yourself all the love so don’t be afraid to spoil yourself and shower yourself with compliments

For those in relationships, don’t get into the whirlwind of valentine’s day and forget about yourselves. Self-love is the greatest love of all. Romantic love may come and go but self-love lasts a lifetime.

HAPPY VALENTINES!

 

Submitted By:

Shalom Musyoka, Cohort 8.

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